Rogue Mutt Seeks Female Readers
So last Friday I Tweeted to my 175-ish followers (and Mr. Pagel reTweeted to his 575-ish followers) this Help Wanted ad:
Hey ladies, who wants to beta read an X-rated, probably misogynistic thriller?
Sadly no one responded. Maybe I couldn’t sell it well enough in 144 characters. Or maybe calling it X-rated and misogynistic isn’t a great sales pitch. Either way, I’m still looking for females to beta read my story. If that Tweet wasn’t enticing enough, here’s some more details:
The Story: The tentative title is “Back to Life.” It’s about Detective Steve Fister, a grizzled 50-year-old police detective who’s divorced from his wife and estranged from his 22-year-old daughter Maddy. Then one night he gets wind of a robbery at a pharmaceuticals company by crime boss Artie “Lex” Luther. Steve goes to the plant, where he fights Luther’s goons, knocking them all out. When he goes after Luther, they get to struggling and Luther stabs Steve with a needle full of some weird pink substance that causes Steve to go numb.
He’s shot in the head and then dumped into the harbor. Miraculously he wakes up the next morning, but there’s something different: Steve has been transformed into an 18-year-old girl! She makes contact with Steve’s partner Jake and they find out that Steve was injected with a revolutionary anti-aging serum called FY-1978; the drug in the needle was specifically designed for women, which is why he ended up a she. (The vague science will make a little more sense in the novel.)
Now going by the name Stephanie, she tries to find a cure. There’s just a slight problem: the scientist who was instrumental to making the drug was murdered by Luther’s goons and all of her notes stolen. To have any hope of being changed back, Stephanie needs to find Luther and the formula/notes.
Whilst in the process of this, Stephanie finds Maddy working at a coffeehouse and sees an opportunity to reconnect with her. There’s a slight hitch though when Stephanie falls in love with Maddy’s lover.
You can read the entire rough draft on its blog here.
Content Advisory: I’m not with the MPAA so I can’t say for sure, but I’m pretty sure this would get a NC-17 rating. There’s cursing, there’s sex, there’s violence, there’s a very unsettling gynecological exam. So if you think that kind of stuff is “yucky” then this isn’t for you. And don’t say I didn’t warn you!
Objective: You might wonder why I’m asking for female readers. Mostly because I want to get a feminine perspective on the Stephanie parts. Stuff like menstruation and lovemaking (from a female point of view) I’m a little hazy on, as you might imagine. So I figure it’d be good for a woman to tell me how wrong I am and what a misogynistic jerk I am. If you see any typos it would be good to point them out, but I’m not expecting anyone to go through and cross out every adverb I use or rewrite huge chunks of the manuscript.
Timetable: I don’t like to rush people because I know everyone except me is very busy, but I would like to get this done by the end of the year. The complete story, double-spaced in Word (TNR 12-point font) is about 315 pages, though some of those are largely blank. I can’t say exactly how long it would take to read the whole thing. 12 hours? 16 hours? Probably depends on your speed and how many horrid errors you find. Anyway, like I say I would hope anyone who responds could fit in into their schedule within the next 2-3 months. Just pretty please don’t be someone who responds and then I never hear from again.
Delivery: I use MS Word 2000. I can save it as a PDF or other formats too. Just let me know which would be best and I’ll email the file to you.
Payment: Of course you might be thinking, “What’s in it for me?” I’m not offering money, but I am willing to exchange favors. So if you want me to critique something of yours, I’ll be happy to do it. And unlike a lot of people I’ll probably do it right away too because I have no life.
If you’re still interested, just Email me at roguemutt[at]yahoo[dot]com or leave a comment on this post and I’ll get back to you. I’ll be rereading it myself this weekend, so I wouldn’t send anything until next week.
Thank you. Have a nice day!